They put calcium in the orange juice now, and vitamin C in the milk. I don't know which one to drink any more. Modern life in a nutshell? Multiplication of options invariably leads to redundancy, which carried to an extreme eliminates any basis for decision-making other than the aesthetics of packaging. Do you prefer your beverage in orange or white?

There is a scene in Sewer, Gas, Electric where an aspiring marketer is faced with several brands of toothpaste with identical formulae and asked which is best. None of them, he says, they're all the same. He is unable to comprehend that this means they are all "the best."

Brilliantly funny book, but I get nervous when real life reminds me of it.

On an altogether different note, I'm officially sick of Lord of the Rings movie hype. Yes, I'm one of those purists who snarl at Burger King cups, change the channel when commercials come on, and stand in video stores making disparaging comments about the action figures. I don't generally approve of the way a book has to mutate to become a film. Novelizations of movies tend to lack the zip and crackle of the film's action; films based on novels lack the depth, character, and subtlety of the novel. I don't see the point either way. Tell a new story for crying out loud, and quit strip-mining other media for ideas.

I've been accused of spoiling people's anticipated enjoyment of the film, so I'll shut up about it now. Unless some new action figure really gets me annoyed.

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