MINOR MISHAP AT EMPIRE STATE NUCLEAR POWER DEMONSTRATION
This past Saturday at Empire State University's Cullen Hall, Dr. Chen Lu, one of China's leading physicists who sought asylum in the United States, lectured on and demonstrated his revolutionary new "broadcast nuclear generator." During the demonstration, a local high school senior became ill and was taken to a nearby emergency room. The student, Peter Parker, age 17, was treated and released. Doctors assured that the cause of Parker's illness was not radiation.
    According to Dr. Chen, his new technology relies on controlled nuclear fission to create electricity that can be broadcast harmlessly and cleanly through the air.

SIMON WILLIAMS, COHORTS CAUGHT
Simon Williams, co-CEO of Williams Electronics, has been apprehended by some of New York City's very own super-heroes. Also taken into custody were scientist Henry Pym and Arnim Zola, the Nazi war criminal. FBI spokesman Henry Gyrich, who took the men into custody, reported that costumed super-heroes called Union, Malachi, Dark Angel, and DustStorm defeated the threesome, who were operating in Birmingham, Alabama, as a sort of anti-civil rights posse. It is alleged that Williams (Warmonger), Wasp (Pym), and Fasces (Zola) were conspiring with local authorities against civil rights demonstrators.
    It has also been revealed that Williams has apparently been subjected to bizarre genetic manipulations by the Nazi Zola. These manipulations have altered Williams' appearance and allegedly destroyed his intelligence. All three villains are in the custody of the Supreme Headquarters International Law-enforcement Division (SHIELD), awaiting trial.

HARLEM'S NEWEST EXPORT?
So what exactly was Malachi, Harlem's very own super-hero, doing in Birmingham, Alabama? The Harlem Hero's recent activities have given rise to much speculation. Many people believe that the recent spate of organized super-powered vigilante activity points to the formation of some sort of secret society. Sources also indicate possible ties between Malachi and the West Coast Afro-American terrorist group known as the Black Panthers. Several known members of the Black Panthers violently disrupted an pro-segregation rally in Birmingham over the weekend. Malachi was not at the scene, but this hasn't quelled rumors of his involvement with the Panthers.

TERRORISM, DEATH AT UNITED NATIONS
The international community is in shock after yesterday's tragic, dramatic events at the United Nations. After committing what many feel is treason, Captain America, long believed MIA in VietNam, attempted to assassinate industrial Tony Stark, who is currently in the hospital recovering from a heart attack caused by the stress of events at the UN. Chemist Theodore Sallis, who has ties with the Pentagon and Roxxon, was critically injured by an unidentified NSA agent, who was killed by a UN guard.
    Victor Dumas, AKA Victor von Doom, former ruler of East European nation Latveria, now under Communist rule behind the Iron Curtain, was killed in by Sergei Kravinoff, a Soviet agent known as the KGBeast. Dumas, who led a double life as the super-powered vigilante the Specter, died defending UN delegates from the Kravinoff, who allegedly was there as an assassin. The Soviet ambassador disavows any knowledge of Kravinoff's activities, and has pulled Kravinoff's diplomatic credentials.
    Kravinoff was apprehended by costumed super-heroes identified as Aegis, Emerald, Delta V, and the Valkyrie. Delta V and Aegis were also instrumental in saving the lives of Stark and Sallis, as well as subduing Captain America. Captain America later escaped from the UN security chief, who remains unavailable for comment.

DEMONSTRATIONS IN BIRMINGHAM
Even though Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., remains jailed by Sheriff "Bull" Connors in Birmingham, Alabama, on charges of "unlawful demonstrating" and "disturbing the peace," civil rights demonstrators still pulled off an entire day of demonstrations, starting with a church service Sunday morning. Recent events, including the revelation that local authorities have been allegedly conspiring with Nazi war criminal Arnim Zola, even spurred several dozen Caucasian church-goers to join in the day's events.
    Celebrities seen about town with the civil rights marchers that day included singer Harry Belafonte, a long-time supporter of King, and Manhattan socialite Janet Van Dyne. Van Dyne's presence in Birmingham at the same time her former fiancée Henry Pym, who was allegedly working with Zola under the guise of the Wasp, has caused a buzz of speculation among media gossip-mongers

ART THEFTS AT THE LOUVRE
More than one dozen priceless works of art vanished from the Louvre overnight. Among the works stolen is Leonardo da Vinci's Mona Lisa. Authorities are baffled as to how the thieves managed to enter the famous museum and get away without being detected.

QUENTIN BECK DIRECTS
Famed Hollywood stuntman and special effects wizard Quentin Beck is ready to direct his first film, "The Witch of Wundagore". Press releases claim that the horror film will not be yet another B-picture, but will be the first serious artistic attempt by Hollywood in the genre of horror in decades. It is rumored that Susan Storm, still hot after her title role in "Cleopatra", is being sought for the leading lady part. Beck is also rumored to have created a new system that will be usher in a new era of movie special effects. Filming starts in Manhattan sometime within the next two weeks, sources say.

VIKINGS ESCAPE, AUTHORITIES SCRAMBLE WITH EGG ON FACE
The NYPD revealed today that two superhuman Vikings who attacked the waterfront and who had been taken into police custody have subsequently escaped. The waterfront attack, thwarted by our very own super-heroes, left several people dead or injured, and hundreds of thousands of dollars in property damage. Authorities have yet to explain why the arrest of the Vikings was kept secret.

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