Session 7:

"Short little stupid little greedy little...." - common epithet aimed at dwarves (there are a number of variations on this theme)

"We're pretty passionate about everything that tries to kill us." - Rebecca, after the group declined to take up any passions regarding dwarves in particular

"What is this big wad of hamburger? And where's Jared?" - Dave* as Martin, on Jared's pitiful state

"Bite me, healer geek." - Harrick, after Martin blows his first aid roll for him

"As a healer, he makes a wonderful baker." - Harrick again, still on Martin's case

"We don't know that the [zombies] we ran into were normal; we're still building our taxonomy here.... We really have to come up with a safer hobby." - Harrick

"Can we use eminent domain on the pawnbroker?" - Terzin

"So obviously, we're role models now." Pause. "What are you laughing at?!" Terzin during Devereau's troop muster

"Neener neener neener...." Brian proves his maturity as the group realizes that they forgot to zombie-proof the dwarf bodies

"He's taking to this like a duck takes to milk." Harrick on Terzin's taste for command

"Any guesses?" - Brian wants to know if we can guess what's following Robin
"Damn GM can't keep his goddamn hands off the random-encounter dice, that's what it is." - Tom

"Robin 'Mad Cow' Bufon." - Brian slightly mishears Rebecca, and Robin gets a new nickname

"The place that you need to be is ultimately over by your left buttock." Brian explains the map to Dave*

"Taught her everything I know." - Jared
"That must have taken an hour." - Brian

"I swear to God the ride home's going to hurt." - Tom
"Are you mad at me or something?" - Brian
"Only for this. I HATE mind-control!" - Tom is miffed about Mendel's escape

"Unless they've got a bitchin' spell defense, that'll work." - candidate for the "famous last words" list from Tom

"If the heads are off, we should be all right." Ditto from Rebecca

Not funny, but worth preserving:
"Sure, I'm willing to sacrifice myself up to Mathelwyn to save our asses." - Harrick, in jest
"Seriously?" - Brian
Pause. "Hell, actually, we're dicked. Yes."

"What's with all the bedrooms?" - Robin
"Hey, even the undead gotta have someplace to snuggle." - Harrick, from beyond the grave

"If we have to rescue her, she's a princess. Just to make us feel better." - Jared, on rescuing the cooper's daughter

"She's a participant or a missile weapon, basically." - Terzin on Arpad's willingness to pitch in vs. the owlbear

"In other words, you're just going to go wandering through the swamp. Do you want to do this night?" - Brian
"Oh, YES. And I think we should smear ourselves with honey, and put big signs saying 'BAIT.'" - Dave gets sarcastic as we wind down

Session 6:

"The woods at least take the charges, the caves always call collect." - Terzin

"You don't really become a bandit if you're actually interested in punching nine hours a day worth of hard work. Very few people do, anyways, oh admittedly there are the dedicated individuals, but every field has its entrepreneurs and impresarios...." - Harrick expounds upon banditry

"You know, when the orc's playing 'good cop'..." - Brian
"... There's something SO wrong." - Tom

"So, are you guys going to check that cave out while the ettin's gone?" - Brian
"Yeah, right." "That's funny." - group response

"He doesn't seem the slightest bit concerned that the two of you are now standing behind him. Which is enough of a reason for you to go, 'maybe we shouldn't stab him.' Not that you were thinking about it...." - Brian
"Let's be honest here—if we were going to do anything to him, we wouldn't stab him." - Tom

"Legume?" - Brian (sometimes context just gets in the way)

"Torturing and killing people is cool." - Jared

"What god do you worship?" - Terzin
"We're secular humanists with materialist tendencies." - the bandits

"You've got a mean, psychotic streak I hadn't noticed before." - Harrick, to Robin

Session 5:

"It's one of the genre rules; you always heal cleanly unless the scar will look dashing or dramatic." - Tom

"That was one of your main reasons, that dungeon dwellers don't have any rights." - Brian on why Terzin turned to a life of adventure
"That and the fact that people in Crapaud don't have anything worth stealing." - Tom
"I know, I checked." - Dave

"I've almost gotten to miss fighting toads." - Robin
"Speak for yourself, blunt-fang." - Harrick (In-character insults rule)

"Can't a man writhe in his own house?" - Dave

"We are definitely adventurers, we've got our healing munchkinism routines down." - Dave

"The General Zombie Rule: everything is smarter than it has any right to be." - Brian

"Were-rats are still intelligent, free-willed, only lightly evil—so are we." - Tom

"You're going to lower yourself down a hundred and fifty feet down the well, and cast a flare spell, in hopes that you will be able to see what's down there? I am going to tell you right now, that given the fact that it is more difficult to summon various elementals if one is too surrounded by their opposite number, the odds of you getting off a flare spell a hundred and fifty feet down in the earth in a water-filled pit is about NIL." - Brian lays down the law

Session 4:

"Hey, I can always gloat about the fact that I was right about adventuring being a good idea." - Terzin
"So far you haven't been proven wrong, therefore it's a working hypothesis. When we're all dead, however, it'll be proven that you were wrong." - Harrick
"When we're all dead, you can reprimand me."
"I'll be sure to do that."
"There's your own private hell...." - Brian

"And what brings you up into these wayward and unknown parts?" - Martin
"The woods are calling us." - Robin
"This pretty much does for your theory that I'm the one who always says mean things about Dave's character!" - Tom

"There's such a well-known gap between thought and action for Terzin." - Tom resurrects my theory

"Dave has decided that he wants no information from this man and would prefer to merely confuse him!" - Brian, on riddling gryphons etc.

"I flash her the secret Entertainers' Guild hand signal. Do I know it?" - Dave
"No." - Brian

"We know at least one person has keys." - Tom
"Him." - Josh, pointing at Dave.
"Right. Do we trust him? No. He might sneak in in the night, take his stuff, or something." - Tom

"There's nothing like studying Romantic poets to teach you how to suck the light from a room." - Tom

"You know the really frightening thing? He makes me want to turn into Scott. The two of us would be perking at each other down the road. 'What a wonderful day for adventure!'" - Tom on Dubricus (I had to include that because I didn't want to forget the mental image)

"I feel like Mike Nelson around you guys." - Bec, unsuccessful in humor
"Oh, you're at least Joel, come on." - Tom tries to help, kind of

"Everyone gets another healing period..." - Brian
"Pristine as a baby's butt!" - Dave

"Pity you lost the chain mail, though." - Brian
"It's not lost, simply misplaced. The thieves have it. We know where the thieves are. They're in the forest. The forest is only so large." - Tom, enunciating very carefully

Session 3:

"That's right, that last fight didn't go well...." David recalls the previous session.

"What I'd like to do is buy out a business, have the person who's running the business now continue to run it and merely send me money. Change the name of the place over it so that it would be 'Terzin's Bakery.' Ha, you lousy idiots! I would be here running this if you were worth my time." - Brian does a fair job of reading Terzin's thoughts.

"He really just wanted you for your family." Brian (on Edward)
"Well, that's perfectly normal." Rebecca
"Whereas we want you for your hit points and your longsword skill." Dave

"If you can do it wearing tights, you ARE the angst." - Tom on angst-exuding teens

"No, they did not polish your freakin' lantern." - Brian
"Well, what kind of service is this?" - Terzin, in Briarport

"Early the next morning, Terzin is returned to you." - Brian
"Do we get our deposit back?" - Tom
"Yes, they give you back the bottle." - Brian

"I never knew what scum I was before..." - Terzin, on meeting the Countess Anne
"We did." - Harrick

"Ha! I don't care about your taunts." - Terzin, on Cloud 9
"Why don't you care about my taunts!? You're wrecking our relationship!" - Harrick

"Okay. Jared..." - Brian starts a brand-new scene
"Am I dead yet?" - Josh demonstrates that he knows Brian much too well already

Session 2:

"Doesn't pure of heart count?" - Josh
"You associate with Terzin, what are you talking about?" - Brian
"Well, Terzin's heart is surprisingly... well, if you want to equate 'pure' with unalloyed..." - Tom

"You rush to your doom..." - Brian
"We've been rushing to our doom, it's like Zeno's Arrow, we only get halfway there each time." - Dave

"Is it me, or is this not a normal bear? It's an intelligence bear. It's tracing us. It's smarter than your average bear." - Tom gets paranoid or silly, or both

"So you might as well relax, cause either he's not the nethermancer or you're already part of the forces of darkness." - Tom
"Well I don't really have a problem with that...." - Dave

"It was a 20-year toad; we could tell, we core sampled it." Tom

"She's the only one of my family that understands me." - Dave, on Robin
"They all know you're a jerk." - Tom

"Don't think of it as losing a daughter, think of it as losing a Terzin." - Tom, who makes all the nasty remarks about Dave's character....

Session 1:

"There's always Karma, babe." - Brian, while Robin was pinned by the toad

"I have successfully baited the toad into attacking!" Robin trying to put a good face on things, from under the toad

"You just like saying 'pith.'" - Rebecca to David

"That's just what we need. Cultists, in Crapaud." Harrick, morose

"Well, they're worse than these people." - Tom
"These people?" - Rebecca
"You know. You." - Tom, on Raelites and others

"Constant vigilance is the price of the Great Chain of Being." Rebecca

"Good friends, dead frogs, Miller Light." - Jared, relaxing

"This is because I'm an orc, isn't it?" - Harrick, resentful

Are you.... splitting up?" - Brian
"Yes, we could be spread over more ground that way - NO, we're not splitting up!!!" - Tom

Brian: "Is anyone stepping in between the gargoyles?"
Chorus: "No." "No." "Fuck, no." "Not on your life."

   

| Top |

 

Copyright © 2000 Brian Rogers