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"A good fight is always the best thing to drive away thoughts of succubi." - Hans, shortly after meeting Yasmina

 

 

For those of you who are not involved in this game and who don't know any of us personally, this will probably not be at all interesting, but you never know. They're presented in reverse chronological order. I veer kind of randomly between using people's real names and character names.

Power and Force

The burning question is, can you drown a noncorporeal man? Tom
Feel the love! Brian

I know they're in our future, but I won't have them in the house. Needle on devolvo-rays

What we need to do is get the vial of Javelin out of the trophy room, stick it in someone, and send him after Power. Then there won't be any problems at all! Dave

At least he's not malicious, he's just malevolent. Tom
An equal number of people are dying! Dave
But there's no ill-will.... Tom

I'm a chicken of action! Cockatrice

Sexist oppressor. Barbarian. Unreconstructed fascist. 1980s military. Sexist pig-dog. Crusher of souls. Everybody, providing reasons Thunderbolt doesn't deserve Stephanie

Last time I got mind-controlled, I got yelled at for being late. Thunderbolt

Shattering Heaven

Entities that loathe us, part III. Talon
A continuing series on the BBC. Thunderbolt, in accent

One of the nice things about when you crossbreed daemons in with things is that some of them develop big leathery bat wings. Brian
We've got to work on your use of the English language. Tom

Now I have my very own omen of doom! Bec
What, were you feeling lonely 'cause your last one was mostly used up? Tom

I open a can of pickles. Defensively! Bec

First you get the four vrocs together, then suddenly they form N'Sync. Tom

Is that what we're going to hate you for? Dave after the time reversal
No, that's later. Brian

It's kind of freeing being dead. Josh

Roll ten d10. Brian
Always a pleasure. Dave

The thing you were really going to hate me for, which the way things played out never got a chance to come up is, she never got a chance to use the raven again. Presumably one of you was going to do something bad enough that it would actually kill the original raven. The raven falls over and Gretchen looks at it and goes You idiots, don't you realize I gave her that power? And she raises her arms and there are two of her. Brian
Yeah, we would have really hated you. Everybody

Proof that your gamemaster is an anal-retentive bastard, I am now closing up the plotlines that Mike Coolican didn't get a chance to finish up in the campaign that he ran that was set a hundred years in the future of the V&V game that I was running back in high school. Brian

The Bound Rainbow

The ice toads are the only ones that love us. - Phoenix Talon

Lonely, bitter and vengeful. - Scott on Needle
I'm not bitter. - Needle

This moment of bone-numbing terror brought to you by Daemon-Nummies. - Brian

You know what those dirty slaads are, taking all the jobs from us, uh, native-born fantasy New Englanders. - Phoenix Talon

There is nothing wrong with proactively defending yourself against me-niverous creatures. - Scott

Like wading in a giant bowl of warm Wheatabix. - Scott on proximate lightning balls

You know, if I had four more limbs... - Scott
NO. - Brian

You guys do a lot of running around here. Ever consider a demi-human workout video? - Scott
One and two and kill your foe and three and four.... - Thunderbolt

Always shit dropping from the ceiling—zombies, gnolls.... - Thunderbolt

You're a mighty deity of the sun... I worship you, so I know that's working out pretty well. - Talon to Daan

So is this castle stick-shift? - Needle

Sunrise Sea

The first one of you who manages a complete paragraph in Thor-speak dies. Tom

And she's in a wheelchair now, which is awesome, being psychic and all. Rebecca, pleased by Eve's reappearance

Origin stories happen. Get over it. Dan

There can't be anything bad in the forest, can there? Josh

Owie owie owie owie owie! originally Dan, eventually everyone else

Unfortunately we didn't pack the Mecha-Mole. Tom

One of you's a ranger spellcaster! The other one's a fighter-thief! Together you fight crime! Brian

This is the first room in the fucking place? What the hell?! Rebecca

Just consider those evil's version of 'You must be this tall to ride this ride.' Scott on the impaling spear traps we avoided a few times on the missing tape

We got all the way down here for him to give us a Sunday School lesson? Dave
Davey and Goliath as done by Xyrgoth. Don't be greedy or I'll eat your heart, Davey. Tom

I'll warn you now, the rope is out of its depth. Brian as we begin the marilith battle

Wonders of the Northern Wastes

It can't be post-traumatic stress, we're still stressing him. Tom
Stockholm syndrome? me

Who has that much tomato sauce? Brian

Once you're suddenly up to your tuckus in fire-breathing daemon-dragon-wolves, it's kinda late. Particularly if your tuckus is twelve feet off the ground. Scott

Trapped in a World They Never Made

Your mission, should you choose to accept it.... me
This mage will self-destruct in five, four.... Tom

What munchkin-boy wrote this description?! Dave
Note to self, Wind Walk: Holy fuck. Brian

Just let the human die.
What the hell kind of monk are you?! me
I'm lawful neutral. Dave

Thank you, Phoenix Talon. As always you are a moral beacon. - me

You gotta take this as a hint. Draw on your innate link with Tempest, drain her power into you. That'll get the World Crime League on your back. Oh wait, they already are. Tom
Let me think about that a minute NO. Bec

I have 117 hit points. I could die any minute! Dave
Yeah, if they drop the tree on you.... Me

She has chosen to serve Evil. Needle gets sententious
In this case, she has chosen to serve evil as a shish-kebob. Tom

We didn't do all that much structural damage at all. Scott
Showing that this is not the real Revolution! me

Fifty Years Ago - Crossover

Feel the force of my Excite-O-Rays! Excitor
I defeat him. Dave

I don't want to wake up and find that my intestines have been turned into wolverines or something. Another classic Tom moment

You're another gorilla, he's not going to attack you. You smell like plastic. You smell dead. Brian as the yeti chooses targets.

We would have different jobs if we were clue-bearing life-forms. Kane

Fifty Years Ago - Wood Pulp & Blood

(Bloody hell, we were punchy that day....)

The moose is not a creature of the night. Brian
It's a Goth moose. It's wearing a beret. Tom
Moose walk around at night. Sometimes. Josh
I'm being lectured by a gorilla. Brian

My gorilla nature is about to take hold. Josh

Maybe we'll just need to squeegee your brains off the windshield. Tom

They don't see many Goths in that part of Maine. Josh
You can take that limiter right the hell out.... Tom

On how being a vampire sucks:
Every minute is infinitesimally worse than the previous minute. Josh
Like being stuck in a room where the only other person is a 19-year-old Beat poet. Reading Deconstructionism. Tom
Being in daylight is nothing more than 8 hours of extreme suckage. Brian

A psychic, a vampire, and a gorilla walk into a bar.... The guys, more or less all together

Gorilla G-Man, the musical! Josh

He's got a two-foot long earwig burrowed into the back of his neck. Tom. (Where the hell does he get this stuff?)
Oh, all right. Poltergeist activity. Brian

A gorilla with money ain't hardly a freak at all! - Brian

Millinocket: A History of Power and Struggle. Land of Mystery and Suspense. Josh
Forged From Wood Pulp and Blood. Where the eldritch meets tomorrow. Tom

You certainly register as big-time threat potential to the local Slut Queen. Brian

Camus, the existentialist killer whale. Sploosh, life is suffering. Tom
I would do tricks for you humans, but I am so very depressed. Josh

We're off to go visit the top of the mysterious mountain. For some reason my husband told me to wear nothing but fur and Worcestershire. Tom
Perhaps he's finally interested in my body. Brian

People when faced with the impossible are perfectly willing to accept the stupid. Brian

I'm not actually speaking out loud, you can't tell me to be quiet. Josh

If we go anywhere near the Black Lodge I am so out of here. Me
Too late, we got rooms. Tom

Ever have that MK Ultra feeling? Brian

Are we going to try and follow the road along the lake to try and catch up with the boat beforehand, or are we going to get on the road straight to Ambajejus, to try and cut it off there, where there might be all the various other members of the Jenkins clan, in full lycanthropic glory, getting ready to dance beneath the death of the moon and summon their god? Brian
You know, that seems like there's an opinion there... Tom

Fifty Years Ago - Death of a Three-Time Loser

It's a gorilla, isn't it? Dave

If this at any point involves a depilated, hyperintelligent gorilla in a suit, you are in so much trouble. Tom
Yes, I'm looking for the gorilla, too. Dave

When I think limitless money supply, I think 'big top.' Brian

Go me! Stevie

Out in California, we all wear capes. Dave
That's what Truman Capote's doing out there. Brian

I don't think Bucky ever did this kind of thing. Dave on Stevie

Fifty Years Ago - First Night

I am the violence inherent in the system. - Brian's tagline for Argus

You never know when you might have to pulp the crap out of a werewolf with your accoutrements. - White Rose

Captain Vanguard returns to California a misogynist. - Tom

This time it's three sticks of dynamite. And a bear! - Tom

The final clue is 'Breke keke kex koax koax.' - Dave

"So should we play this for high drama or just beat the living bejeezus out of people?" - Tom
"We could mine the approaches to the dock." - Dave

So this is his shakedown ass-whipping? - Dave on the Sphinx

Day of Fire/Whiteout

Special on Fox TV: When Europeans attack. - Tom
I sprayed this Poland scent all over me and Germany just went for me! - Brian
We're going to get letters about that.... - me

[The museum] just opened their Day of Fire exhibit... - Josh
No... although one of the stores nearby is having a Day of Fire Fire Sale. - Brian
They slashed the Revolution, and we're slashing prices! - Dave

Seemed to be a crime that was just built for Roy McCoy, too. To take over all the duck tour boats. - Tom
Oh, give him more ideas, sure. - Josh
I may bring him back just to do that now, Tom. - Brian

Anybody who runs is a theme villain. Anyone who doesn't run is a well-trained theme villain! - Dave

I have to do two very quick asides, but we'll segue directly into you... - Brian
Auuugh! -Tom
...causing 2d12 damage. - Brian

Could be worse. I'm not a chair. - Scott
You're sculpture. You're not even sculpture in good taste, you're pimp sculpture. Bling bling! Bling bling! - Dave

Wait a minute, given the opportunity, a building's not going to fall on our heads? It's a trap. - Scott

I haven't had an opportunity to fall from a height today. - Needle

I'll give you a warning right now that I won't be bringing Promethean's brother back until I can cause far more damage with him. - Brian
We're happy about that. Kind of. - Tom

Great, it's the end of Wild Palms. - me
Anton Kreutzer had fewer rocket launchers. -Dave

Dear Mr. Mind Lazer, sir. While many of your operatives meet the excellent qualifications of your organization, there are certain members about whom I feel it necessary to complain.... - Scott

So this is all an excuse for us to roll new characters, I understand now.... - Tom

It might be the perfect time for my Twilight 2000/Cyberpunk/Psiworld crossover. - Brian
Your reflexes aren't nearly good enough to live through that. - Tom

Just so you know, for the upcoming conflict, I'm going to be unconscious soon. - Thunderbolt
How many hit points do you have? - Brian
Four. - Thunderbolt
I've got one. - Phoenix Talon
Five. - me
Forty-one. - Scott
So you'll be taking us home. - Thunderbolt
Go home with your android, or on him! - Brian

A thousand ravens with little tiny Javelin inhalers strapped to their bills.... - Tom
Stop that! - me

We're all gonna die, but it's gonna be a nice fight. - Scott

In a heartwarming moment they teach Promethean the true meaning of Kwanzaa. - me (yeah, we were back on that joke for a while)

On the topic of cliff-hangers:
[A fan] is going to personally fly here from [home] to kill us. - me
Tell him to just come kill me. I know I'm responsible. Of course, if he kills me, he never gets to find out what happens later. - Brian
Then it turns into Misery. - me

This is going to hurt so bad. - Tom
What makes you say that? - Me
Because it has already so far, and it doesn't look like it's gonna stop. - Tom

Gathering Crows

    I foresee a one-shot Christmas special, Stu and Stan Christmas Spectacular! - Josh
    Just what we needed, Hanukkah of Terror. - Tom
    Kwanzaa Crisis! - Josh
    
    Here's an idea, don't spill daemon blood on Boston Common! Bad plan, bad plan, no biscuit! - Brian
    
    New sign for the Common:
    Do not feed the squirrels.
    Do not spill the blood of daemons.
    Do not feed the blood of daemons to the squirrels.
    No littering.
    Do not walk on grass. - Community effort
    
    Back at Sean Mort's house... - Brian
    The body began to rise from his grave? - Tom
    Nope. - Brian
    Curiously enough, that would actually make me feel better. - Josh
    
    We can rule out the Revolution, then. - Mind Lazer
    They think we go around killing people in the night?! - me
    Only Toy Man. - Dave
    That was in the morning. - me
    The bright light of justice shines upon our killing spree! - Josh
    
    I can't believe they let ninja-broad steal my sub. - Scott
    
    This is out of character for me, but I think I could use a really big gun. - Needle
    
    This is your plan? - Brian on the dress-up-like-Wuxia-piss-off-League-of-Nations idea
    It's *a* plan. - Tom
    
    How much worse can things get? - me
    Looks like I have to pull out the extra-special folder.... - Brian
    
    This has been a John Carpenter moment. - Tom
    
    Offensive use of a defensive player, fifteen yards.... - Brian on the use of the Wuxia as weapons
    
    It's a proactive synergy... - Brian
    ... of Evil! - Tom
    
    I just realized this is a cage match. - me
    We're turning Boston into a giant pyramid, pyramid, pyramid! - Tom
    You'll buy the whole seat, but you'll only use the edge! - Josh
    
    Take that, Moo Shu Pork! - Josh
    
    This is just a meat grinder. - me, mid-session
    
    The worst of course are the Javelinovah Witnesses, who knock on the door in the morning and then spray you with Javelin. - Dave

Seeing the Light

He needs killing. - Talon on the Toy Man
Oh, I forgot — you went to school in Texas.... - Tom

Nothing quite like a collapsing building to really get the blood rolling - Brian

This is what happens when you ask for relationship advice from your co-workers, and your co-workers are former supercriminals. - Brian

There are very few places in the nation where it's actually dangerous to be a state legislator. Massachusetts appears to be one of them. - Dave

There does come a point where a theme villain has just gone too goddamn far. There are some themes that you just can't play. - Scott, surprisingly

Now it's time for me to get Dave really paranoid....- Brian (but the danish really WAS drugged!)

I'm never changing my mind again! - Phoenix Talon during the Toy Man battle

Anybody got a squeegee? - Scott during the Toy Man battle

I need a cigarette. - Phoenix Talon in the aftermath

Isn't there some point at which we can start playing the villain groups off each other? - Phoenix Talon

The GM admits it:
I was honestly not going to do anything as long as you guys didn't try and sleep. You would have gotten much more time off had he not insisted on napping. - Brian
And we were supposed to know this?! - me
Well, this is just me being a jerk.... - Brian

The question is, what do you guys do now? - Brian
Nuke Chinatown. - Me

Collect Them All

I'm a chair again, aren't I? Scott

How to abuse your power as a GM, Lesson 42:
You'll gain extra experience points for the number of times that you are able to toss in your tagline of 'the most cunning and dangerous opponent you've ever faced.' - Brian
No I won't. - Dave
I'm afraid if you don't say it at least once I'll be forced to have the Jar-Jar Binks robots kick your ass, Dave.

This is why you have friends. So they can be unadulterated assholes in your hour of need. - Tom

Say, Tad, is that your penguin? - Josh
I thought she came in with you. - Tom

Sort of like an abrasive security blanket. - Scott on having Needle back

We're going to be the only team in the country that doesn't have a trophy room, we're going to have a humiliation room. - Bec

We had to destroy the theme villain base in order to save it, sir. - Tom

It's what happens when you combine Preventol with Javelin! - Tom
Do you have problems in crowds? Are you uncomfortable in social situations? Do you not want to kill people? Try Javelin. - Dave
Call 1-800-yadda-yadda, ask about Javelin!
May cause nausea, diarrhea, or homicidal psychosis in a certain percentage of people.

Grovel?!!! I was kidnapped!!! - Josh

Clueless, maladapt, terrified, doesn't even have a reproductive system. - Tom sums up the Revolution's relationship prospects

We need to stop global warming, stick Needle's feet in the bay. - Brian

Random running gag: Mitchell as Phoenix Talon, or was it vice versa?

Catfights & Cockfights/Pride

This episode brought to you by the letters W, C, and L. - Brian (not really, but it was a good line)

Despite the fact that I am a six-foot-two, blonde, square-jawed superhero, I am in fact not here to harass you. - Thunderbolt imagining how he'd go over in Chinatown

The CIA has failed hundreds of intelligence operations using agents just like you. Tom to Thunderbolt

You come in the door, you get hit with a couple of knockout eggs, the next thing you know you're strapped down in their nest.... - Tom
Being nibbled to death by ducks. - Brian

How big a threat can he be? -Candi
Galactus in a chicken costume. - Dan

You're looking at a mutilated body and thinking about your girlfriend? This is whacked! - Brian
Me not getting any isn't going to bring her back to life. - Phoenix Talon

And the person with heightened stats leaps at Dawn, who promptly turns her blood into cuttlefish. - Tom
Well that's grotesque. - Brian
There are reasons nobody lets me have matter manipulation. - Tom

The mummy is out right now. Your call is important to us.... - Josh

Nine Lives

"Come in costume as your favorite theme villain, get a free beer!" - Brian
"Oh, no no no no no no no!" - Tom

"The Oort Cloud is closer to her bedroom than you're going to get." - Tom on Talon's chances with Candi in that opening scene

"Oh. This is beer." Tom realizes that he is not, in fact, holding a can of iced tea.

"All you have to do is seize control of the city...." - Dave
"Oh, hush, I'm working on it, although it might not take place within your pitiful carbon lifespans." - Scott...?

"This entire civilization was built on the theory of proving that it can always get worse than this. 'I can't believe this, we are fighting Nazis? Wonderful. Well it can't get any worse than this.' 'Oh yes it can, they're super-soldier Nazis!' 'Well, it can't get any worse than that.' 'They're cybernetic super-soldier Nazis!' 'Okay, but we're fairly safe here.' 'Vampiric cybernetic super-soldier Nazis! And you fight your way all the way through to the end, and their leader is a GOD!'" - Brian on Transbialka

"One of the lesser-known attacks in his repertoire, the full-body electrical snuggle." Tom on Thunderbolt and Cait Sith

"Villainous Estates!" - Tom
"Your home away from your secret base!" - Josh
"If you lived here, you'd rule the world by now!" - Brian

"Welcome to the Catacombs of Death! Open 363 days a year, closed Christmas and New Years." - Josh

"She's just becoming vaguely omniscient, there's nothing wrong with that." Talon on Dawn

"All we do is destroy things. I mean, uh, help people." Josh

"Once again Phoenix Talon's mouth is writing checks that our butts are going to have to cash." - Tom

On the Wuxia:
"This is not a shoe dropping." - me
"This is a shoestore, falling from orbit." - Tom

"Fightin' crime is like a whack-a-mole game." - Phoenix Talon

The Prince of Cats

"I get to see my proteges slaughtered in the street like cattle and HE gets invited to TEA?" - Dave on the inequity of certain subplots.

"I'm unfortunately sure that this is not about to turn into a musical sequence." - Tom on Tybalt's first appearance.

"Interesting being a villain who's also a raging fanboy." - Dave on Peter

"The Alley Cats are both at the same time a paper tiger and a real tiger." Phoenix Talon's Little Red Book

"This isn't really good cop, bad cop, more like bad cop and worse cop." Dave on Albert's interrogation strategy

"Cats do not take well to being schlorked." - Brian
"Especially if you schlork them against the fur." - Tom

"There's a line around the block of people in this town who really wanna get their heads handed to them by us." - Phoenix Talon

"I'm just gonna go in the other room and scream for a while." - Me, after that final "aside"

The Green Monster/Ants & Rainstorms

"It's not whether you're being paranoid, it's whether you're being paranoid *enough*." - Tom

The Caterer:
"It's mesquite grilled evil! He's got his warming pan attack, throws Sterno bombs...." - Dave
"Laying waste to the crowd with the manicotti cannon...." - Tom
"Wraps you in bacon and shoves an immense toothpick through your gut." - Dave
"Okay, that's just silly." - Brian
"Not to mention a little sick. And where the hell are you going to find a four-foot-wide water chestnut?" - Tom
"1-800-HENCHMEN." - Dave
(room dissolves in laughter, especially me)

"This is gonna be a mercy killing." Dave at the Bambino's first appearance.

"It was in a different dimension, and besides, the wench is dead." - Tom

"It's got the little ZZ Top Eliminator chain." - Dave on Sleipnir's keys
"It sparkles for a minute. All of a sudden three girls in mini-skirts have taken you off to turn you into a real woman." - Brian

"Have you seen my dad's social life? I might be as close as he gets to a family." - Scott

"Your only real problem is gonna be if Molly decides to take you on as a project, which I'm almost positive hadn't occurred to the GM, which is why I mentioned it." - Tom
"Yeah, but that's not a bad idea." - Said GM
"I'm gonna disembowel you with a fork." - me

"I apologize, I have to do these things or they will be done to me." Dave apologizes for the amount of subplotting he did in this session

"Another aside..." - Brian
"Pretty soon we're going to have a lacquered octagonal box." - Dave

"Evil geniuses by definition are outside the box. That's why we don't believe in cubicles here at 1-800-HENCHMEN." - Brian
"Working together to form a proactive synergy in the evil genius environment." - Tom
"We're leveraging our assets..." - Josh
"So that we can in fact..." - Brian
"Show Them All." - chorus

"I've been waiting six months to do that scene." - Brian on Holly's little episode

"Thank God this is only audiotape." - Josh

30 Stories High:

"Lacrosse is like rugby for people who've figured out how to use tools." - Tom. No, it had nothing to do with the game, but it was funny.

"I don't know where our money's going, but it's not going to us." Scott on perceived irregularities in Revolution funding

"Do want us to all breathe hot and heavy on you?" - Brian (context just detracts, really)

"Weld me there again!" Dave as Sleipnir.

"Anyone want to toss in a good, Norse-themed deathtrap?" - Brian
"Drink ourselves to death." - Dave

"If you would like to beg for mercy, please press 1 now...." - Tom
"....Oh, you don't have a touchtone phone?" - Josh

"Odin completely ignores it because the explosion rolled a 20 to hit him...." - Brian daemonstrates one of V&V's less realistic aspects

"Why don't you jump down his throat and stuff an electrified bokken in his prostate?" - Tom
"Long walk." - Brian
"On the other hand, I'd be fairly immune from attack...." - Dave

Norse Sense:

On the Muse's bar tab:
"Here's my receipt...."- Brian
"The total's in scientific notation!" - Dave
"And the exponent is very high!" - Tom

"I'm not Weird Shit, I'm perfectly ordinary bioscience!" - Needle

"1-800-HENCHMEN, where quality is job one—800! Henchmen! I think we need a new jingle, guys." - Dave, singing

"Do we have another subplot looming?" - Rebecca
"Right now we don't really have a plot." - Dave
"Oh, thanks for the kiss of death, Dave." - Tom

"Excuse me, which flowers say 'let's get it on?'" - Phoenix Talon at the flower shop

"I can't wait to start using this in combat, this is the fourth 1 tonight!" - Brian likes his d20

"If you're going to fight Norse theme villains/They're going to have some feathers in their hair..." - Dave was evidently feeling very musical that day

"You asked me this a long time ago, who Odin's hounds were...." - Dave
"Yup. I asked you this sixteen months ago. And you want to know why? Just this moment." - Brian daemonstrates the real meaning of forward planning

"She's a publicity hound, you're..." - Rebecca on Candi
"... A hound." - Dave on Phoenix Talon

OOC Ideas for Postal Employee Man:
Tom: The Dead Letter Office. Blizzard of Mail attack.

Josh: I am the check that gets lost in the mail! I am the junk mail that fills your box!

Stamps of the World:
Rebecca: What, fear the power of Upside-Down Lincoln and Mauritius Blue?
Tom: And the most feared of my henchmen, the Cancellator!

Brian: He has to come back. Because the Postman always rings twice.

Tom: Tied down beneath a thousand pieces of razor-edged mail or something...
Rebecca: ...Death of a thousand paper cuts?

Fireworks & Frenzy:

"After a certain point in Japan, you can see which companies are run by ninjas... it's like gaydar." - Phoenix Talon
"I'm having this really weird scene of Phoenix Talon and Lucky wandering through the streets of Japan. Ninja, lesbian, ninja, lesbian ninja...." - Tom

"I'm so glad I'm not there! I'd have to blob-slap you!" - Scott

"Do you have any armor?" "I have a top hat...." - Dave on Albert

"Don't think of us as a young team, think of how much money will be in our 401(k)s when we can retire." - Tom

"How much death and dismemberment insurance do I get?" "None, what are we, stupid?" - Dave on the likelihood of retirement

"I also don't have to put my pants on one leg at a time." - Brian (as Phoenix Talon)
"Although blowing that roll could hurt." - Tom

"The owners of the station have asked him to alter his criticisms of 'the Viennese Jew....'" - Dave on Albert on Freud

"Did you just sign on as muscle?!" - a disbelieving Scott after Phoenix Talon meets with Rick
"No way man, he's leading his own street gang." - Brian

"Musical appreciation mind control; all the worse." - Phoenix Talon

"I think therefore I RULE!" - Brian explains why there is no Internet in the Variants universe

"Must... not... talk... to babes... must scan... empty horizon..." - Phoenix Talon resists temptation

"Oh that's right, I forgot his invulnerability." - Brian calculates damage on Manta Master
"I wish he hadn't said that out loud, I'd feel much better." - Tom

"Even sharks hate mind control!" - Dave

"You've gotten even more completely cynical and he's turned into Deathstroke the Terminator over here!" - Tom on changes to Needle and Talon since we last met

"You could have your own secret base for less than you're paying in rent right now!" - Brian on 1-800-HENCHMEN's flyer

Family Reunion:

"It has its limitations. It can't derail the plot. Magic is very reliable that way." - Brian

"Hey, at least you're somebody. I'm a chair!" - Scott

"There's always the 'reach out and stop his heart' maneuver." - Scott
"We're trying not to avoid that." - Needle makes a freudian slip

Flashpoint IV:

"You could make a maglev train using buttered cats." - David

"I think we're now beginning to understand the application of terror. Have another chocolate." - Brian

"Apparently along with Fun in the Sun Lucky we have Dress-up Needle as well." - Tom

"They are being mind-controlled! Phoenix Talon is proven right once again!" - David
"Once again?" - Tom
"Once." - Rebecca

Flashpoint III:

"Please bring me some sushi that has been deep-fried." - Phoenix Talon, in Japanese

"Always yell "Freeze!" first, because that way they're not moving when you shoot." - Brian

"Um... we're pulling that." - David
"What'd you roll?" - Brian
"Four... times four." - David (that's 16 hp on a PUNK, for pity's sake - ed.)

Flashpoint II:
"You are SO fired." Needle/Rebecca to an unfortunately out of earshot Promethean/Dave as he blasts away at Fenway Park.

Flashpoint I:
"I'm being chased out of our headquarters by a mob and I'm bringing... an apple. I'm being chased out of our headquarters by a mob and I'm bringing... an apple and badminton." - Dave
"I'm being chased out of our headquarters by a mob and I'm bringing... an apple, badminton, and a cat." - Rebecca

On Albert:
"You have to remember, anything after 1815 is..."
"...pop culture." David and Tom.

"Training kicks in. Even National Socialist training." Pause. "Oh, fuck. Oh well, you would've guessed it anyway." - Dave reveals Hans' past.

Patchwork IV:

Korean Ghost Bits! Now with more kim chee! - Dave

Denial is so deep around here I'm worried about crocodiles. - Tom

A good fight is always the best thing to drive away thoughts of succubi - Hans, shortly after meeting Yasmina

Patchwork III:
"I'm frightened by the fact that the artificial life form is probably the stablest person here." - Tom
"Have you just noticed that?" - Rebecca

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© 1999-2003 Rebecca J. Stevenson