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| Asymmetry | Role-Playing | Villains & Vigilantes | Revolution | Quotable Quotes | |
"A good fight is always the best thing to drive away thoughts of succubi." - Hans, shortly after meeting Yasmina |
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For those of you who are not involved in this game and who don't know any of us personally, this will probably not be at all interesting, but you never know. They're presented in reverse chronological order. I veer kind of randomly between using people's real names and character names. Power and Force The burning question is, can you drown a noncorporeal man? Tom
I know they're in our future, but I won't have them in the house. Needle on devolvo-rays What we need to do is get the vial of Javelin out of the trophy room, stick it in someone, and send him after Power. Then there won't be any problems at all! Dave At least he's not malicious, he's just malevolent. Tom
I'm a chicken of action! Cockatrice Sexist oppressor. Barbarian. Unreconstructed fascist. 1980s military. Sexist pig-dog. Crusher of souls. Everybody, providing reasons Thunderbolt doesn't deserve Stephanie Last time I got mind-controlled, I got yelled at for being late. Thunderbolt Shattering Heaven Entities that loathe us, part III. Talon
One of the nice things about when you crossbreed daemons in with things is that some of them develop big leathery bat wings. Brian
Now I have my very own omen of doom! Bec
I open a can of pickles. Defensively! Bec First you get the four vrocs together, then suddenly they form N'Sync. Tom Is that what we're going to hate you for? Dave after the time reversal
It's kind of freeing being dead. Josh Roll ten d10. Brian
The thing you were really going to hate me for, which the way things played out never got a chance to come up is, she never got a chance to use the raven again. Presumably one of you was going to do something bad enough that it would actually kill the original raven. The raven falls over and Gretchen looks at it and goes You idiots, don't you realize I gave her that power? And she raises her arms and there are two of her. Brian
Proof that your gamemaster is an anal-retentive bastard, I am now closing up the plotlines that Mike Coolican didn't get a chance to finish up in the campaign that he ran that was set a hundred years in the future of the V&V game that I was running back in high school. Brian The Bound Rainbow The ice toads are the only ones that love us. - Phoenix Talon Lonely, bitter and vengeful. - Scott on Needle This moment of bone-numbing terror brought to you by Daemon-Nummies. - Brian You know what those dirty slaads are, taking all the jobs from us, uh, native-born fantasy New Englanders. - Phoenix Talon There is nothing wrong with proactively defending yourself against me-niverous creatures. - Scott Like wading in a giant bowl of warm Wheatabix. - Scott on proximate lightning balls You know, if I had four more limbs... - Scott You guys do a lot of running around here. Ever consider a demi-human workout video? - Scott Always shit dropping from the ceilingzombies, gnolls.... - Thunderbolt You're a mighty deity of the sun... I worship you, so I know that's working out pretty well. - Talon to Daan So is this castle stick-shift? - Needle Sunrise Sea The first one of you who manages a complete paragraph in Thor-speak dies. Tom And she's in a wheelchair now, which is awesome, being psychic and all. Rebecca, pleased by Eve's reappearance Origin stories happen. Get over it. Dan There can't be anything bad in the forest, can there? Josh Owie owie owie owie owie! originally Dan, eventually everyone else Unfortunately we didn't pack the Mecha-Mole. Tom One of you's a ranger spellcaster! The other one's a fighter-thief! Together you fight crime! Brian This is the first room in the fucking place? What the hell?! Rebecca Just consider those evil's version of 'You must be this tall to ride this ride.' Scott on the impaling spear traps we avoided a few times on the missing tape We got all the way down here for him to give us a Sunday School lesson? Dave
I'll warn you now, the rope is out of its depth. Brian as we begin the marilith battle Wonders of the Northern Wastes It can't be post-traumatic stress, we're still stressing him. Tom
Who has that much tomato sauce? Brian Once you're suddenly up to your tuckus in fire-breathing daemon-dragon-wolves, it's kinda late. Particularly if your tuckus is twelve feet off the ground. Scott Trapped in a World They Never Made Your mission, should you choose to accept it.... me
What munchkin-boy wrote this description?! Dave
Just let the human die.
Thank you, Phoenix Talon. As always you are a moral beacon. - me You gotta take this as a hint. Draw on your innate link with Tempest, drain her power into you. That'll get the World Crime League on your back. Oh wait, they already are. Tom
I have 117 hit points. I could die any minute! Dave
She has chosen to serve Evil. Needle gets sententious
We didn't do all that much structural damage at all. Scott
Fifty Years Ago - Crossover Feel the force of my Excite-O-Rays! Excitor I don't want to wake up and find that my intestines have been turned into wolverines or something. Another classic Tom moment You're another gorilla, he's not going to attack you. You smell like plastic. You smell dead. Brian as the yeti chooses targets. We would have different jobs if we were clue-bearing life-forms. Kane Fifty Years Ago - Wood Pulp & Blood (Bloody hell, we were punchy that day....) The moose is not a creature of the night. Brian
My gorilla nature is about to take hold. Josh Maybe we'll just need to squeegee your brains off the windshield. Tom They don't see many Goths in that part of Maine. Josh
On how being a vampire sucks:
A psychic, a vampire, and a gorilla walk into a bar.... The guys, more or less all together Gorilla G-Man, the musical! Josh He's got a two-foot long earwig burrowed into the back of his neck. Tom. (Where the hell does he get this stuff?)
A gorilla with money ain't hardly a freak at all! - Brian Millinocket: A History of Power and Struggle. Land of Mystery and Suspense. Josh
You certainly register as big-time threat potential to the local Slut Queen. Brian Camus, the existentialist killer whale. Sploosh, life is suffering. Tom
We're off to go visit the top of the mysterious mountain. For some reason my husband told me to wear nothing but fur and Worcestershire. Tom
People when faced with the impossible are perfectly willing to accept the stupid. Brian I'm not actually speaking out loud, you can't tell me to be quiet. Josh If we go anywhere near the Black Lodge I am so out of here. Me
Ever have that MK Ultra feeling? Brian Are we going to try and follow the road along the lake to try and catch up with the boat beforehand, or are we going to get on the road straight to Ambajejus, to try and cut it off there, where there might be all the various other members of the Jenkins clan, in full lycanthropic glory, getting ready to dance beneath the death of the moon and summon their god? Brian
Fifty Years Ago - Death of a Three-Time Loser It's a gorilla, isn't it? Dave If this at any point involves a depilated, hyperintelligent gorilla in a suit, you are in so much trouble. Tom
When I think limitless money supply, I think 'big top.' Brian Go me! Stevie Out in California, we all wear capes. Dave
I don't think Bucky ever did this kind of thing. Dave on Stevie Fifty Years Ago - First Night I am the violence inherent in the system. - Brian's tagline for Argus You never know when you might have to pulp the crap out of a werewolf with your accoutrements. - White Rose Captain Vanguard returns to California a misogynist. - Tom This time it's three sticks of dynamite. And a bear! - Tom The final clue is 'Breke keke kex koax koax.' - Dave "So should we play this for high drama or just beat the living bejeezus out of people?" - Tom
So this is his shakedown ass-whipping? - Dave on the Sphinx Day of Fire/Whiteout Special on Fox TV: When Europeans attack. - Tom
[The museum] just opened their Day of Fire exhibit... - Josh
Seemed to be a crime that was just built for Roy McCoy, too. To take over all the duck tour boats. - Tom
Anybody who runs is a theme villain. Anyone who doesn't run is a well-trained theme villain! - Dave I have to do two very quick asides, but we'll segue directly into you... - Brian
Could be worse. I'm not a chair. - Scott
Wait a minute, given the opportunity, a building's not going to fall on our heads? It's a trap. - Scott I haven't had an opportunity to fall from a height today. - Needle I'll give you a warning right now that I won't be bringing Promethean's brother back until I can cause far more damage with him. - Brian
Great, it's the end of Wild Palms. - me
Dear Mr. Mind Lazer, sir. While many of your operatives meet the excellent qualifications of your organization, there are certain members about whom I feel it necessary to complain.... - Scott So this is all an excuse for us to roll new characters, I understand now.... - Tom It might be the perfect time for my Twilight 2000/Cyberpunk/Psiworld crossover. - Brian
Just so you know, for the upcoming conflict, I'm going to be unconscious soon. - Thunderbolt
A thousand ravens with little tiny Javelin inhalers strapped to their bills.... - Tom
We're all gonna die, but it's gonna be a nice fight. - Scott In a heartwarming moment they teach Promethean the true meaning of Kwanzaa. - me (yeah, we were back on that joke for a while) On the topic of cliff-hangers:
This is going to hurt so bad. - Tom
Gathering Crows I foresee a one-shot Christmas special, Stu and Stan Christmas Spectacular! - Josh
Seeing the Light He needs killing. - Talon on the Toy Man
Nothing quite like a collapsing building to really get the blood rolling - Brian This is what happens when you ask for relationship advice from your co-workers, and your co-workers are former supercriminals. - Brian There are very few places in the nation where it's actually dangerous to be a state legislator. Massachusetts appears to be one of them. - Dave There does come a point where a theme villain has just gone too goddamn far. There are some themes that you just can't play. - Scott, surprisingly Now it's time for me to get Dave really paranoid....- Brian (but the danish really WAS drugged!) I'm never changing my mind again! - Phoenix Talon during the Toy Man battle Anybody got a squeegee? - Scott during the Toy Man battle I need a cigarette. - Phoenix Talon in the aftermath Isn't there some point at which we can start playing the villain groups off each other? - Phoenix Talon The GM admits it:
The question is, what do you guys do now? - Brian
Collect Them All I'm a chair again, aren't I? Scott How to abuse your power as a GM, Lesson 42: This is why you have friends. So they can be unadulterated assholes in your hour of need. - Tom Say, Tad, is that your penguin? - Josh Sort of like an abrasive security blanket. - Scott on having Needle back We're going to be the only team in the country that doesn't have a trophy room, we're going to have a humiliation room. - Bec We had to destroy the theme villain base in order to save it, sir. - Tom It's what happens when you combine Preventol with Javelin! - Tom Grovel?!!! I was kidnapped!!! - Josh Clueless, maladapt, terrified, doesn't even have a reproductive system. - Tom sums up the Revolution's relationship prospects We need to stop global warming, stick Needle's feet in the bay. - Brian Random running gag: Mitchell as Phoenix Talon, or was it vice versa? Catfights & Cockfights/Pride This episode brought to you by the letters W, C, and L. - Brian (not really, but it was a good line) Despite the fact that I am a six-foot-two, blonde, square-jawed superhero, I am in fact not here to harass you. - Thunderbolt imagining how he'd go over in Chinatown The CIA has failed hundreds of intelligence operations using agents just like you. Tom to Thunderbolt You come in the door, you get hit with a couple of knockout eggs, the next thing you know you're strapped down in their nest.... - Tom How big a threat can he be? -Candi You're looking at a mutilated body and thinking about your girlfriend? This is whacked! - Brian And the person with heightened stats leaps at Dawn, who promptly turns her blood into cuttlefish. - Tom
The mummy is out right now. Your call is important to us.... - Josh Nine Lives "Come in costume as your favorite theme villain, get a free beer!" - Brian
"The Oort Cloud is closer to her bedroom than you're going to get." - Tom on Talon's chances with Candi in that opening scene "Oh. This is beer." Tom realizes that he is not, in fact, holding a can of iced tea. "All you have to do is seize control of the city...." - Dave
"This entire civilization was built on the theory of proving that it can always get worse than this. 'I can't believe this, we are fighting Nazis? Wonderful. Well it can't get any worse than this.' 'Oh yes it can, they're super-soldier Nazis!' 'Well, it can't get any worse than that.' 'They're cybernetic super-soldier Nazis!' 'Okay, but we're fairly safe here.' 'Vampiric cybernetic super-soldier Nazis! And you fight your way all the way through to the end, and their leader is a GOD!'" - Brian on Transbialka "One of the lesser-known attacks in his repertoire, the full-body electrical snuggle." Tom on Thunderbolt and Cait Sith "Villainous Estates!" - Tom
"Welcome to the Catacombs of Death! Open 363 days a year, closed Christmas and New Years." - Josh "She's just becoming vaguely omniscient, there's nothing wrong with that." Talon on Dawn "All we do is destroy things. I mean, uh, help people." Josh "Once again Phoenix Talon's mouth is writing checks that our butts are going to have to cash." - Tom On the Wuxia:
"Fightin' crime is like a whack-a-mole game." - Phoenix Talon The Prince of Cats "I get to see my proteges slaughtered in the street like cattle and HE gets invited to TEA?" - Dave on the inequity of certain subplots. "I'm unfortunately sure that this is not about to turn into a musical sequence." - Tom on Tybalt's first appearance. "Interesting being a villain who's also a raging fanboy." - Dave on Peter "The Alley Cats are both at the same time a paper tiger and a real tiger." Phoenix Talon's Little Red Book "This isn't really good cop, bad cop, more like bad cop and worse cop." Dave on Albert's interrogation strategy "Cats do not take well to being schlorked." - Brian "There's a line around the block of people in this town who really wanna get their heads handed to them by us." - Phoenix Talon "I'm just gonna go in the other room and scream for a while." - Me, after that final "aside" The Green Monster/Ants & Rainstorms "It's not whether you're being paranoid, it's whether you're being paranoid *enough*." - Tom The Caterer: "This is gonna be a mercy killing." Dave at the Bambino's first appearance. "It was in a different dimension, and besides, the wench is dead." - Tom "It's got the little ZZ Top Eliminator chain." - Dave on Sleipnir's keys "Have you seen my dad's social life? I might be as close as he gets to a family." - Scott "Your only real problem is gonna be if Molly decides to take you on as a project, which I'm almost positive hadn't occurred to the GM, which is why I mentioned it." - Tom "I apologize, I have to do these things or they will be done to me." Dave apologizes for the amount of subplotting he did in this session "Another aside..." - Brian "Evil geniuses by definition are outside the box. That's why we don't believe in cubicles here at 1-800-HENCHMEN." - Brian "I've been waiting six months to do that scene." - Brian on Holly's little episode "Thank God this is only audiotape." - Josh 30 Stories High: "Lacrosse is like rugby for people who've figured out how to use tools." - Tom. No, it had nothing to do with the game, but it was funny. "I don't know where our money's going, but it's not going to us." Scott on perceived irregularities in Revolution funding "Do want us to all breathe hot and heavy on you?" - Brian (context just detracts, really) "Weld me there again!" Dave as Sleipnir. "Anyone want to toss in a good, Norse-themed deathtrap?" - Brian "If you would like to beg for mercy, please press 1 now...." - Tom "Odin completely ignores it because the explosion rolled a 20 to hit him...." - Brian daemonstrates one of V&V's less realistic aspects "Why don't you jump down his throat and stuff an electrified bokken in his prostate?" - Tom Norse Sense: On the Muse's bar tab: "I'm not Weird Shit, I'm perfectly ordinary bioscience!" - Needle "1-800-HENCHMEN, where quality is job one800! Henchmen! I think we need a new jingle, guys." - Dave, singing "Do we have another subplot looming?" - Rebecca "Excuse me, which flowers say 'let's get it on?'" - Phoenix Talon at the flower shop "I can't wait to start using this in combat, this is the fourth 1 tonight!" - Brian likes his d20 "If you're going to fight Norse theme villains/They're going to have some feathers in their hair..." - Dave was evidently feeling very musical that day "You asked me this a long time ago, who Odin's hounds were...." - Dave "She's a publicity hound, you're..." - Rebecca on Candi OOC Ideas for Postal Employee Man: Josh: I am the check that gets lost in the mail! I am the junk mail that fills your box! Stamps of the World: Brian: He has to come back. Because the Postman always rings twice. Tom: Tied down beneath a thousand pieces of razor-edged mail or something... Fireworks & Frenzy: "After a certain point in Japan, you can see which companies are run by ninjas... it's like gaydar." - Phoenix Talon "I'm so glad I'm not there! I'd have to blob-slap you!" - Scott "Do you have any armor?" "I have a top hat...." - Dave on Albert "Don't think of us as a young team, think of how much money will be in our 401(k)s when we can retire." - Tom "How much death and dismemberment insurance do I get?" "None, what are we, stupid?" - Dave on the likelihood of retirement "I also don't have to put my pants on one leg at a time." - Brian (as Phoenix Talon) "The owners of the station have asked him to alter his criticisms of 'the Viennese Jew....'" - Dave on Albert on Freud "Did you just sign on as muscle?!" - a disbelieving Scott after Phoenix Talon meets with Rick "Musical appreciation mind control; all the worse." - Phoenix Talon "I think therefore I RULE!" - Brian explains why there is no Internet in the Variants universe "Must... not... talk... to babes... must scan... empty horizon..." - Phoenix Talon resists temptation "Oh that's right, I forgot his invulnerability." - Brian calculates damage on Manta Master "Even sharks hate mind control!" - Dave "You've gotten even more completely cynical and he's turned into Deathstroke the Terminator over here!" - Tom on changes to Needle and Talon since we last met "You could have your own secret base for less than you're paying in rent right now!" - Brian on 1-800-HENCHMEN's flyer Family Reunion: "It has its limitations. It can't derail the plot. Magic is very reliable that way." - Brian "Hey, at least you're somebody. I'm a chair!" - Scott "There's always the 'reach out and stop his heart' maneuver." - Scott Flashpoint IV: "You could make a maglev train using buttered cats." - David "I think we're now beginning to understand the application of terror. Have another chocolate." - Brian "Apparently along with Fun in the Sun Lucky we have Dress-up Needle as well." - Tom "They are being mind-controlled! Phoenix Talon is proven right once again!" - David Flashpoint III: "Please bring me some sushi that has been deep-fried." - Phoenix Talon, in Japanese "Always yell "Freeze!" first, because that way they're not moving when you shoot." - Brian "Um... we're pulling that." - David Flashpoint II: Flashpoint I: On Albert: "Training kicks in. Even National Socialist training." Pause. "Oh, fuck. Oh well, you would've guessed it anyway." - Dave reveals Hans' past. Patchwork IV: Korean Ghost Bits! Now with more kim chee! - Dave Denial is so deep around here I'm worried about crocodiles. - Tom A good fight is always the best thing to drive away thoughts of succubi - Hans, shortly after meeting Yasmina Patchwork III: | Top |
© 1999-2003 Rebecca J. Stevenson |