The boat bobbed madly, water coming in over the decks. Those on the Tropical Pair-o-Dice grabbed onto anything they could catch, papers and other loose evidence flying around. Sequoia began to swim toward shore.
    "If no one bothers it, it's usually very peaceful," the captain opined hopefully. "I mean it's not evil, per se. It just wants to be left alone. It's been used by villain organizations before, we kept it under wraps in Canada for years, the theory was that we could get it down to somewhere more akin to a natural environment for it and maintain a greater study of it. We don't even know what this thing is, where it came from. We never expected this. Not this."
    It was around eight in the morning by then after a long day, long night. Sequoia was headed for Seattle, Scott following. Those on the Tropical were forced to abandon ship and move over to the Palin, which was in slightly better shape. The pirates weren't fighting anymore, but seemed resigned to capture.
    Scott called up the Justice Defenders' HQ.
    "Hello, you've reached the Justice Defenders," a nasal voice answered. "Can I help you?"
    "Hi, my name's Scott Silver."
    "Yeah, Mr. Silver?" She snapped her gum.
    "Could I speak with Eclipse, please?"
    "There aren't any Justice Defenders in residence right now, they're all off stopping crimes at the moment."
    "Yes, I know, she happens to be on a boat several miles off shore, I was hoping you could patch me through to her."
    "Who did you say you were again?"
    "Scott Silver."
    "She could be invisible or in some sort of fight, or something...."
    "Actually she's just on a boat, I'm trying to tell her where I am," he explained patiently, "riding on the shoulders of a giant anthropomorphic redwood tree which seems to be swimming toward the coast."
    "All right, I'll patch you through," the woman sighed.
    Contact finally made.
    "There's a Mr. Silver on the line for you," Eclipse heard.
    JDHQ did not have a receptionist, let alone one who snapped her gum like that. Typical Seattle weirdness.
    "Could you patch him through to me, please?" she asked; the matter of the HQ computer could wait until later.
    "Yeah, sure, no problem. Oh, are you near Mr. Powerhouse at all?"
    "Yeah."
    "I have a couple reporters from the Seattle Sun, they were wondering if they could talk to him?"
    "Not right now, he'll get back to them when we get back to shore."
    "And the people from Nike are wondering why he's not wearing his shoes."
    "OK, I'll pass it along. Hi, where are you?" she asked Scott.
    "I'm riding on Sequoia's shoulders as we're swimming back toward the city."
    "OK. Do you have any idea where he'll hit shore?"
    "Well, it's still kind of dark...."
    "I know, isn't it great?"
    "No." That was as emphatic as Scott ever got.
    They took a moment to catch their breath and headed for shore, following the redwood's wake and leaving the Michael Palin to hang in there as best it could.
    The papers Eclipse had grabbed included a business card with no name, just "1-800-HENCHMEN" on it.
    "You've got to be kidding me," Alchemy muttered.
    She also had a menu from the restaurant at the top of the Space Needle. Alchemy called the Henchmen number.
    "What's today's code word?" a female voice answered.
    Alchemy flipped the business card over, knowing that if there had been a code-word, Phil would have written it on the back. It was blank. She nodded to herself. "There is no code word."
    "That's correct ma'am, I'll put you right through."
    "Hello, can I help you," a new voice spoke. "This is John in Sales."
    This town is getting weirder every minute.... Maybe I can play this out to find out what Phil's up to. "John, I'm looking for some henchmen."
    "How many do you want and what's your need? We're a little heavily booked in the Seattle area right now...."
    "What's going on in Seattle?" Alchemy queried, hoping for somewhere to hang her hat.
    "We have our commitments," he replied vaguely. "It's a growth area for us, the number of individual super-villain wars that are going on. But what can I help you with, you looking for a half dozen goons with guns, slinky women in small costumes with martial arts training, what do you want? We can fill your needs."
    Alchemy vamped madly, "Actually I'm looking for several dozen to help me in my current war."
    "Excellent, we love hearing that. What town are you in?"
    "Ummm...." She glanced at one of the nautical charts, "I'm in Tacoma right now."
    "You're planning on taking over Tacoma, are you?"
    "Yes."
    "You need to work your way up, I understand," he assured her. "We have a whole group that specializes in dealing with rural police departments, small-time sheriffs, and other less consequential members of the law enforcement community. Very little killing, a lot of intimidation. I find it works really well."
    Maybe I can see what Phil's using...."Do you have all your high-killing people tied up."
    "Looking for a bloodbath? That's going to raise your insurance rates quite a bit," the salesman advised. "Do you have a Swiss account?"
    "Money is no object.
    "Excellent!"
    "Oh, and I need them today."
    "Speed will cost.... Um, do you have a fax number? I can fax over the pertinent information, and why don't you give me your name and address?"
    Despite herself, Alchemy found herself caught off guard by the sheer simple normality of it. Placing an order via phone, of course he needed a shipping address...
    She gave him her name and number. What the heck, maybe if she hired all the available henchmen, Phil wouldn't be able to cause so much damage. This town is getting to me. I've got to get out of here.
    "We'll just do some checking on this, and we'll get right back to you, ma'am," he promised.
    Alchemy suggested that they had best move quickly to support the illusion she had just created.
    Eclipse called the non-existent secretary. "OK, this is a rush thing, what we need—because we've got someone who's going to be checking on us—they're going to be calling this number to verify that we're a super-villain, just go with it."

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