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Scott called Felix.
"K. Robeson Investigations, how can I help you?"
"Hi, Felix."
"Hi, boss."
"I'm currently stuck at the bottom of Boston Harbor waiting for someone to bring out a minisub and pick me up, so I thought I'd give you a question I just thought of, since I've got this free time on my hands at the moment."
"Sure, fire away."
"I need you to go over the corporate structure of Wall, Stone, Craft and Shelley. Somebody in there is a villain from the old days."
"Oh."
"I can't prove it, although I can probably get a good investigation started, that they're the people behind 1-800-HENCHMEN. And I think there's one of the old villains in there, basically attempting to improve the level of the craft, and making money off it by setting even the villains as his henchmen, taking a profit without actually having to do anything."
"There any way we can buy into this, boss?"
"I don't know, is the stock on the open market?"
"I'll have to check. I can't honestly say that I'm against this idea, are you?" he asked curiously. "I mean, it's criminal activity, granted...."
"It's criminal activity, but at least it does lower the level of sociopath-with-big-gun. Admittedly, we get people like Postal Employee Man, later renamed the Postman."
"Could have been worse," Felix noted. "He could have been the Stamper, or something. Ooh, the Canceller! The Canceller. Never mind."
"The single most hated man of the Worcester police force?"
"You'll have to give me the details on that. Anyway, I'll start doing a check on that. Just saw you guys mentioned on the news," he added. "Nice truck."
"Yeah, it's a great truck. Somewhere under Boston Harbor, the tires and the outer shell blew off, which is why I'm sitting at the bottom of the harbor, as it hit the harbor about 150 miles an hour and just kept going."
"I have a lot of respect for that truck."
Scott agreed. "You wouldn't believe how hard that truck can hit. It kind of ditched me down here, so I'm waiting."
"Want to play 'I Spy' or something while you're down there?"
Given the darkness, that was a bit unworkable. Felix told him riddles instead. Eventually he asked, "Oh, and Stephanie commented the other day that she kind of misses having Newton around and was wondering whether we can get an office cat?"
"Sure," the boss agreed.
"All right. I'll let her know it's okay to pick something up. Like a lynx, or something."
"I got a question for you, was she acting kind of weird towards Paul?"
"You mean the whole fluttering eyelashes, hormone thing?"
"I noticed the fluttering eyelashes...."
"You get to smell them after a while, don't worry about it."
"I don't have a sense of smell."
"Then you won't. But I don't think that's strange, that's standard human mating behavior. You'll get used it."
"Okay."
Eventually, the Windjammers came to fetch him.
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© 2001 Rebecca J. Stevenson
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